Mindfulness at Miraval

**  “Mind*ful*ness, noun
Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention in the present moment. When you’re mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings without judgement. Mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.”

**definition of Mindfulness on the inside of the Miraval activity brochure

Today, my husband surprised me by taking me out to Miraval, a world renown spa located on the outskirts of Tucson. He didn’t tell me where we were going, just stated that he had a surprise for me. Since I am notorious for not accepting surprises, it was a pretty big deal that I didn’t hound him with questions, or pepper him with queries about the details of the trip. I tend to treat surprises as logic puzzles to which I will inevitably find the answers if I simply ask the right questions.

But I digress.

Miraval.

It took us some time to get out there. Not a problem. He directed me by using the GPS.  Our son was happily playing with his cars and space shuttle in the back seat and it was a beautiful day. We had fun on the way out laughing about nonsensical things good friends inevitably laugh about when given any uninterrupted time together. When we finally arrived at the gate to Miraval (yes, there is a gate and a gatehouse. Your security is important to them and they take it very seriously. You’ll read more about this later), Daniel directed me to press the “call” button to reach someone inside to buzz us in. I didn’t know what we were doing there so he had to feed me information across the seat.

“Hi, this is “Josh.” (I can’t remember the guys name so have invented one) How can I help you?”

I look at Daniel. “Tell them we are here to pick something up.” he says.

“We are here to pick something up.”

JOSH: “Is it a person or something from the main desk or gift store?”

I look at Daniel. After all, it’s his surprise. “Something from the desk.” he states.

“Something from the desk.”

JOSH: “What is it?”

I look at Daniel – so much for his surprise. I will now find out if we are picking something up from a person staying here, or something from the spa. Other options have not yet entered my mind believe it or not.  ”Tell them there should be an envelope at the front desk for us to pick up.” he replies, beginning to get a bit frustrated.

“We are supposed to pick up an envelope at the front desk.”

JOSH: “What is your name?”

“Paula and Daniel R*******”

Silence. . . . JOSH: “O.K. I am opening the gate. Please take the first left and come to the main desk upon entering.”

Why did I lead you through this painful conversation exchange? Because it was a fairly painful conversation exchange. Include awkward, uncomfortable, unwelcoming and unsettling. I’ve had security clearance interviews that weren’t this uncomfortable. We drove up and took the first left to the parking lot to find a Miraval employee waiting for us in the parking lot. Not the sidewalk. Actually standing on the asphalt. Apparently we weren’t to get out of the car or park. We ignored the hint and parked our 10 year old dented Honda in a slot, and Daniel, baby and I gushed out of the car and approached the representative. It was over 90 so gushed is a fairly accurate descriptive. Presumably, the person waiting for us was ‘JOSH’. As a family we were in good spirits. I still didn’t really know what we were there for and was enjoying the experience. Daniel let ‘JOSH’ know we were there to pick up a gift certificate for the day spa.

JOSH: “That won’t be here. You’ll have to go to the Spa and pick it up from there. We’ll have to drive” and he gestures towards one of the many golf cart vehicles used to schlep people from one spot to another. ‘JOSH’ was apparently too busy to drive us to the Spa desk himself so he off-loaded us to another Miraval employee who was actually quite charming, if a bit distracted. All the Miraval employees wear wireless headsets similar to what the secret service uses. While we were being shuttled to the Spa desk to pick up the gift certificate, ‘JOSH’ was constantly updating our driver on his latest instructions. I starting thinking of this silent conversation as the “what-to-do-with-them” conversation or, ‘W.T.F.’

We arrived in front of the Spa after driving through the facility – it’s quite lovely from what we saw. After stopping, Daniel started to get off the cart when our driver related that the little one was not allowed in this part of the spa.

“No problem,” I said with a smile. “We’ll just sit out here in the 90+ degree weather while Daniel runs in and gets the gift certificate.” The way my son was referred to offended me. As did the manner in which we were being handled. I could tell our driver was a bit frustrated by this as well.

Silence as he listened to yet more information from ‘JOSH.’

“Wait! Apparently the gift certificate is at the main desk. We are supposed to come back.”

Having safely avoided contaminating the facility with baby cooties, we were whisked back to the parking lot we’d just left. A drive which took 5 minutes to go down, took 2 minutes to return. Oops! Once again, ‘JOSH’ was waiting for us outside (I guess we weren’t allowed within 10′ of the entrances) with an envelope with my name on it. Nice! We thank ‘JOSH’ and he went back inside.

Now, we’ve had a long drive. Daniel is excited about what he has read about Miraval and thus far, the experience is not what he anticipated. The little guy is needing to stretch his legs and there is a 5 level waterfall and metal wind art to the right of the parking lot. We walked around the fountain, and went to look at the wind art. We did not get in the water, or foul it in any way. We did not approach the wind art but were appreciating it from the parking lot sidewalk. I guess that was not acceptable for out of the presumed main desk area, came a Miraval employee to keep tabs on us. Obviously we were some renegade groupie family that at any moment were going to run amok with camera’s and obnoxious children, defiling the sanctity of the Miraval experience. She stood there staring at us while we walked the periphery of the parking lot sidewalk.

Being the subtle person that I am, I asked if there was something we could help her with. “Oh no” she replied. “I am just waiting for a guest.”

Rrrriiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhhhttttttt. I should state at this point, said guest never materialized and as soon as we moved towards our car, she went inside.

So . . . . . mindfulness. Daniel and I were trying to enjoy a wonderful thoughtful gift in the moment. We were appreciating the art, and the attention to landscaping and design shown on the grounds. Daniel’s vision of being given a tour of the amenities that I would get to enjoy as a day spa guest never materialized and instead of dwelling on that, he walked with his family as we tried to enjoy the surprise and environment.

“…without judgement.”

Hummmm. That must apply to other guests and prospective guests.

“…living in the moment and awakening to experience.”

Well, unfortunately we were living in the moment – painfully so as we were escorted about like undesirables. We were certainly awakened to the experience. Probably not in the way Miraval hopes though.

I could go on and on with quotes like these from the rest of the first page of the Miraval activity booklet but I think the point is made. So I am left with these choices.

I could NOT go back to Miraval, and allow their unbelievably poor handling of our visit to completely sour my interest in the services they offer; or I can overcome my trepidation’s and go, accepting a gracious and thoughtful gift from my husband and his company in the spirit in which it was intended.

I feel like showing up in our RV, dressed in camo with war paint on, wildly waving a rusted machete, wearing 6 digital cameras around my neck – all with those high speed motors like the paparazzi use.  I want to declare that they can’t know my name as I am in the witness protection program, and when they insist, start singing the national anthem as loudly as I possibly can all while yelling anti-establishment sentiments.  I want to litter their parking lot with flyers from Bob’s Discount BBQ – all you can eat, all day! Or go up to every person I meet inside, take their picture and tell them I am their “#1 fan.”

Okay – so I went a bit crazy there, but this kind of treatment brings it out of me.  Apparently Miraval is all booked up through May and into June, so it’s not something I need to rush into right away. However, looking through the services booklet – there are a lot of interesting things to do. Meditating, yoga, massage, personal development coursework, and more! I’ve never been to a spa – ever. In my life. Although I am a bit intimidated by the experience and how they represented themselves, I know that the grounds and facility are carefully monitored to ensure no-one is disturbed during their stay. Our experience was proof of that. I am not sure what services are offered specifically for the gift certificate I’ve been issued – maybe not all classes are open to me. Who knows! I’ll have to email or call and find out. Heck, if I can apply the gift certificate to purchases in the gift store, maybe I’ll just do some holiday shopping early. My certificate might go toward the purchase of a doily or something.

I’ll keep everyone updated on how the experience goes from here. For now, be mindful. Enjoy the present and walk in Beauty. I’ll update later.

The Importance of Being a Good Neighbor

There are hundreds of sayings about being a good neighbor.  But no-where are these axioms more important to follow then when you are living in an RV park.  Yes, we’ve all lived in apartments with paper thin walls but it’s not the same.  It’s strange.  In an RV you are living your whole life on display for everyone around you.  Only trusting to their discretion in not reminding you that they can hear EVERYTHING.  They know when your stomach is telling you that you really shouldn’t have eaten that mystery burrito at the taco stand.  They know what you and your husband talked about last night.  They know when you make love.  They know what you had for dinner, unless you have actually found the one food that makes no smell as it cooks.  Each RV is a self contained unit with you and your family on display.  Sometimes I feel like Daniel and I should just sell tickets to the evening show.  Now having lived in an RV park for three months full-time, the importance of being a good neighbor has really hit home.  What does that mean to me?  It means being quiet.  It means being considerate of the people around you.  It means taking the time to make sure you are not encroaching on other peoples space.  It means picking up after your dog and being a responsible pet owner.  It means taking the time to get to know you neighbors.

Here, we have a guy who’s RV is at the front of the park.  It’s the first one you see when you drive in. He has a collection of chairs outside – enough for several people to sit and chat, his dog run, and you’ll often see him standing at the wall checking out the world as it drives by the park; provided no-one has stopped by for a visit.  He’s given those of us here a tangible sense of peace and security simply because he’s there.  He see’s everyone coming in.  He walks around going about his business and has managed to perfect the technique of being around without being intrusive.  He always has a smile on his face and a pleasant greeting.  He has helped out his neighbors more than once simply by being available and eager to help.  He is a good neighbor.  At the opposite end of the park, we have an elderly man who will be celebrating his 90th birthday soon.  When he found out that Daniel and I were going to be long time residents of the park, he baked us a pumpkin pie with hand made whip cream.  I’ve never in my life had someone do that for me.  I was speechless.  What was I supposed to do in return?  A thank you card just didn’t seem enough.

In the short time I have been here, we’ve also had the police in the park – three times now.  The manager is good about booting unsavory people out, but sometimes the police are called for an emergency.  It happens.  But again, it brings into the light the importance of being a good neighbor.  Howard Koch says the following about being a good neighbor, “You can be a good neighbor only if you have good neighbors.”   I tend to believe this as a general rule.  We had neighbors for a couple weeks who were awesome.  We’d knock on each others doors and borrow cups of milk and sugar.  It was fun!  Then we had neighbors that I probably wouldn’t open my door to in the dark. I certainly made sure the doors were locked.

In closing I have to say that I know these rules are important for everyone to live by.  Most people don’t.  In our little microcosm, rudeness, loud behavior, and clutter are magnified 100fold.  The guy who doesn’t play with his dog and leaves it out and alone for hours on end doesn’t understand that the result of this behavior is that his dog barks all day.  With ALL your neighbors within 100′ of you, it gets annoying.  The horders who want to make room for everything in their personal 28+’ of space don’t understand that their clutter spilling over into someone else’s space makes us all look bad.  Who wants to live in a junk yard?  I find myself obsessing over the fact that the tail end of our RV isn’t clean.  Road grime and such have caked the back.  I don’t want our neighbors embarrassed by our RV dirt.  I mean, EWE!  They might think we don’t take care of our rig!  And THAT won’t do.

I hope we are good neighbors.  We manage our space, keep our rig clean and try to be considerate of our neighbors by keeping our volume under control.  Sometimes with a toddler, this is a challenge.  But I personally hope that the squeals of laughter make them smile when they hear it.  And I hope they remember that smile when he cries!  Thanks for listening.  I’ll try to be better about posting more often.  We’ve got a road trip coming up soon, so be sure to look for updates on that.

Drive safe!  And thanks for being a good neighbor  :-)

Sacred Space in 21′

After living in our small space for 6 months now, personal space has become something sacred. Because you really don’t have any. There’s the living space, the galley, the WC (which really is a closet), and the baby’s room. I suppose I could crawl into the cab-over and pull a blanket over my head, but that really wouldn’t be the same. So what have I done? I’ve done what thousands of other RVers have done before me. I’ve made a small space outside my rig.

In our RV park, we don’t have a patio, and our slot is one of the small ones. It’s the drawback to being in a small park. The other day I’d had enough. We drove the rig to the local Home Depot and I bought 15 x 2′square terra cotta bricks. We got back and I had my husband park as close to the side wall as he could and I went to town! Initially I had envisioned a perfectly flat ‘patio’ but discovered that 15 bricks would not a full sized patio make. LOL – I spaced them about 2″ apart with the local gravel in between the stones. I staggered them in three rows. My little makeshift patio looks pretty cool!

While I was at Home Depot, I also picked up 3 happy red geraniums, 3 cheery iceland poppies, and 1 freesia plant. The coup de grace was a turquoise woven metal chair I picked up at Target. The flowers are currently spaced around the patio but I intend to get some big pots and plant them in about 3 planters. It’s my space. MINE! Every time I open my front door now, I see my flowers and my pretty patio. I can sit in my chair and just veg enjoying the sunshine, or can close my eyes and enjoy the smell of my flowers. LOL! I used to laugh when I looked at other RVers who would haul around big plants, full patio sets, wind socks, lights, and all manner of outdoor decor. Now I understand – it’s someones personal get away space. I’m not laughing anymore. I’m right there with’em!

This may seem like a silly thing, but when your life existence is condensed down into such tight spaces, you need someplace to call your own. Any corner will do. My husband seems to be rolling with it better, but then he has his own dedicated, no-one-can-mess-with-this-space at work. My patio isn’t permanent – when we leave, I’ll pick it up, pack it in and off we’ll go. But now where ever we end up, I can at least re-create my sacred space.

To Move or Not to Move – That is the Question

I’ve been following a thread on the RV.Net forum, and the main focus of the thread is the controversy of whether or not using your RV as your main vehicle makes sense.  It’s kind of interesting how much response this simple thread has generated.  For us, there is no option.  We don’t have a car.  We either walk, take the bus, rent a taxi, or drive the RV.  But, in reviewing everyone thoughts, I really just want to wack some people with a whiffle bat and say, “Be Realisitic!” and “Open your Eyes!”  So to those people, let me give the following advice:

• If you are driving a Class ‘A’ that can’t make every turn, and doesn’t fit on every road, then no.  You probably don’t want to drive your RV as your primary vehicle.
• If you have a 30′+ tow behind that you are hauling with your truck – um, hello?  You have a truck!
• If you are wanting to drive it everywhere you go, and I mean EVERYWHERE!  And you are one of those people who think human beings should have been designed with wheels instead of  feet – well, then hopefully you have one of those small and ridiculously expensive Rialto type RV’s.  Big enough to live in, small enough to drive like a car…and you probably should go see someone about your nature issues.
• If you are going to drive your Class ‘C’ RV to the grocery store once a week, or to do laundry, or to go to Home Depot – then it’s not a big deal.  Drive your rig and don’t sweat it.

On the forum people were arguing back and forth.  Some people swearing they used their RV’s as their commuter vehicle (these are the small Class ‘C’ers), and others saying what a pain it was, and how much fuel it wastes and how much of a bother it was to couple and uncouple everything (these would be the giant Class ‘A’s and the big trailer people).  People brought up the environmental impact, fuel consumption – time wasted coupling and uncoupling – it got silly.

I guess the point I am trying to make here is use your common sense.  If you have an RV, you’ve already demonstrated a certain independence and presumably have the desire to spend more time out and about exploring this great nation of ours.  So common sense, if its close enough to walk to, walk.  If it’s small enough to fit in a grocery bag, take the bus if its too far to walk for you (everyone’s distance will be a bit different.  Mine is about 2 miles one way.  Any more than that, I’ll look at the bus) or ride a bike.  If you need something, and it’s too heavy to carry, too bulky to move easily or won’t fit in a bag, move the rig.    When you do it enough, you’ll find you can uncouple and have things stowed in 10 min or under.

Remember there are always other options if you are going to be in a large city.  Look at services like Zipcars that can rent you anything from a tiny sports car to a truck for half an hour, an hour or even a full day as needed.  So mellow out – use your common sense and have fun!

Small Spaces Living

Here is a note to all you couples out there;  want to see if you are going to make it for the long haul? Move into a small, small space and see how you do.  If at the end of a day in which you both have been home, you don’t want to knock your mates head off, chances are good that you have what it takes to last for a lifetime.

Living in a small space brings to the forefront all those little things each of us do that normally don’t affect our partners.  From how you prefer to fold your clothes to the splash factor when you wash your hands.  Suddenly everything has a bit more weight.  For example, in a normal home, your bathroom has a large sink and probably some generous counter top around it.  Here, our bathroom sink is 12″ round – a wonderful hammered copper work of art – but that means, if you don’t consciously place your hands into the bowl, water is everywhere!  When the TP stash is being stacked neatly at the edge of the sink to ensure reach-ability, this becomes a problem.  Wet TP is no longer useful in any way.

The clothes folding – well, again here is some perspective.  In a regular home, you have a closet of some type that is most likely floor to ceiling and at least 3′ wide.  You most likely also have a dresser and possibly even two.  Here, we have a single closet that we are sharing that is about 2′ wide…maybe.  It don’t think its that wide.  It is NOT floor to ceiling so anything long has to be folded over or just drags on the bottom of the closet – which doesn’t work because that is where the extra shoes are.  We each have a cabinet for our clothes.  That’s it.  If you are a messy folder, the cabinet door won’t close.  Since the cabinets are at head level, this becomes a problem.  Whack your head enough on the partially opened closet door and your either going to rip the door off it’s hinges or will be passed out on the floor from repeated head trauma.  Neither option is good.

Anyone who has ever been an enlisted person in the Navy can probably relate to the small space issue.  I imagine living on a ship or a sub is somewhat similar.  Just image doing it with your husband or wife….now throw in a toddler.  :-D

Anyone reading this far is probably thinking Daniel and I are struggling to make this life style work but ironically, we’re doing pretty good.  I find myself looking at my home, and am filled with happiness.  This is something we made together.  A testament to our ability to work with each other in harmony.  I am happy snuggled up to my husband when I go to sleep and happy when I wake up to him squashed against the window (his preference to the yawning chasm of doom – the other end of the cab-over bed).  I do nag a bit more than I used to as we discover these ‘little’ things, but even that seems to be resolving itself as the reality of the reason for the nag becomes apparent.  He’s the sloppy hand washer and I’m the ‘just shove it in the cabinet’ person.  Ironically, I insist on everyone else’s clothes being perfectly folded!  But at the end of the day, we are laughing and living and ready for our next adventure.  And each day, it seems like our little home is just a bit bigger.

Ain’t love a funny thing  …

Musings & Thoughts on 1-1-2012

Happy New Year!

I know 2012 is supposed to be full of doom and gloom according to some, but I can’t help feeling that instead, it will just be a time of change.  As long as we roll with it, we should be fine.

I just finished watching the movie ‘The Long, Long Trailer’ with Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz again – the first time since the purchase and move-in of our own trailer or ‘rig’ as Desi says.  The movie is as amusing as it is horrifying and most people watch spell bound at Lucy’s silliness and Desi’s ineptness.  But when you live in a rig, the movie takes on a whole new meaning.

You start thinking things like, “Ya right you want to hold onto all those canned items till next year.  Just wait till you’ve been tripping over them, moving them around and having them generally get in your way for a few months!”  Or, “Seriously?  Ya didn’t go two feet down that forest road and realize that was a bad idea??!?”  Or even,”What were you thinking?  You’ve felt the trailer move when it was blocked and parked.  What made you think you’d be able to stand, let alone cook while it was moving?!”

RV life is about sacrifice for the greater gain.  It’s about realizing both your limitations and your abilities.  It’s about compromise, trust and a one of a kind sense of adventure that makes it all worth while.

The basic premise of Lucy and Desi is great.  He travels, why not take the family and the home with them.  LOL – perhaps a smaller rig would have been a better start but then the movie wouldn’t have been as funny.  :-)

This life isn’t for everyone.  Some people really need their space.  But on the flip side, for those who can make it work – what a ride!  So 2012, bring it on!  Daniel and I have proven we can adapt, and we can compromise.  We can sacrifice, and we can build – individually, together, and as a family.  We are courageous, creative and determined and we will succeed through adversity and prosper.  We’re in it for the big adventure.

Welcome 2012!  May the spirit of the Awen flow freely and may everyone Walk in Beauty.  A-ho

Our Front Door

Hi All -

This is what is outside our front door.

Parked at the seashore in central California

Hwy 101

Emerald City ferry ride

Blythe, CA

Washington

Seattle, WA

Monterey, CA

Desert Ocean

Headed to Big Sur

California

California

Melones Lake

Colorado River, Blythe CA

Walkin’ the rails

Junction City, OR

Hwy 101

Bremerton to Seattle

What’s outside yours?  ;-)

Before & After

I’ve been promising to get the before and after pictures up here and have been postponing because everything is not completely perfect.  Well, I figure you all know how it goes when you run out of time and money so I finally took the after pictures yesterday.  I’ve tried to label each picture but feel free to email us with any questions.

Thanks for all of your support!

Paula

Bathroom After

Bathroom Before – YUCK!

Baby’s Room – Butterflys and wash basin

Babys Room – Stuffed Animals

Crib and Cabinets

Right side of Bedroom

Left side of Bedroom

Bedroom Before – nothing but a bed

Custom built bookshelves and keyboard desk

Original bench seats and dining area

Original Kitchen configuration and drawers

Original Dining Area

Kitchen AFTER

Kitchen Close up

Living Space AFTER

Dining Area

Original Hallway view

Still to do, we need to mount the dining room table (we had it mounted and it didn’t stay – there wasn’t enough support.  We have what we need to fix, we just haven’t had the time), I need to make curtains for the living space and finish the curtains for Baby’s room, we need to install trim in all rooms, need to purchase and install rest of Allure flooring and the shower is not done.  It’s currently being used for storage. OH and ties for the curtains once they are made.

Next big project – the cab over will have to be completely redone this summer.  We have a patched leak there that we’ll need to actually fix instead of working around it like we’re doing right now.  I’d love a new air conditioner since this one leaks in a rain storm, and we need a new stove/oven.  The range works but the oven doesn’t.  Makes cooking challenging since everything has to be done on the range.  We need a new furnace but have actually been pretty happy with our space heaters.

There ya go!  Enjoy!

New Experiences

• Spending a night on the West bank of the Colorado River
• Watching rain hit the dry Arizona desert (the vegetation turns green very quickly)
• Stepping in quicksand-like mud puddles in the dark
• Swimming outdoors in December (OK, it was a heated pool), among palm trees that look like huge pineapples
• Seeing christmas lights wrapped around cacti
• Being passed by a Border Patrol vehicle on an interstate highway

The Voyage to Date

Mapped out from Spokane to Casa Grande, including the diversions through Burlington (WA), Junction City (OR), Sonora (CA), and Monterey (CA).